Doctor Who Icontest

Jazzy Bean has quit eating and then he's been willing to eat only half and half. And then he's been willing to eat the smallest bite of chicken...

So we did not end up making an appointment for our vet to send him to my other cats and my best friends mom who was my dear Pywhackett's second human and who I sent back to her in 2014 when Py was 25. Such a dear Meezer. I imagine sending all my cats to Penny who will love them and tend them the way she tended all nine of her cats before the cancer took her life much to young more than 20 years ago.

So Ian and I are in agreement that it comes down to tomorrow. Before they do advance testing we want to know if he's already wasting away beyond saving. Because I only want to put him through testing if we are not already too late. If they say he's not to far gone from having a bad appetite, then we will do a test or two. And make our decision from there.

The best case scenario will be he's able to get the dental surgery, the thyroid in June and the lung thing is just inflammation. They give him a tube feeding and then we get the dental surgery done asap so he remembers to eat food.

Then he lives for another few years before crossing the rainbow bridge. Because I believe they are escorted by my other cats that they knew, he gets guided by my tragic ginger son to my other dear cats.

If it's not looking good then we will either have it done at Blue Pearl or make arrangements for our primary vet to send him across the bridge.

I want it to be the best scenario so much.

But a few few times over the last 2 weeks I have had hopes only for things to get worse. So I will be full of gloom and anxiety and grief until we know either way tomorrow.

Cat ownership is not for the weak. They keep breaking my heart and yet I know that if the cat distribution center dropped another senior kitty on my doorstep I would take them in too.

He's quit eating all together. If he doesn't eat anything by tomorrow we'll cancel Tuesday's appointment and we'll make arrangements for our vet to send him to sleep on Monday.

He's still drinking but he doesn't have the energy anymore of a cat that is still interested in food. We've tried so many things.

But I must accept that it's over.

Above are two of my favorite pictures of my gorgeous silver boy.

It's been a series of horrible days in a row.

So Jasper was not eating much but then he began turning his head sharply to the side and refusing all types of food. We found a straight puree "mousse" that he would eat and made a vet appointment.

On Wednesday he went to the vet. Got an exam. Got bloodwork. Dental issues. We made an appointment with a specialist for May but wondered if he'd make it to then as he is all bones and no body fat now. He was 10 pounds when he was healthy and he's 7 pounds now.

On Friday, while the plumbers were doing some unexpected work on our toilet. Apparently a Brazilian pepper plant, an invasive plant, decided to grow in our pipes. The vet called.

Jasper has hyperthyroidism. We made an appointment at the big vet hospital. Not the one that Miso died at two years ago but the one our Joey cat died in ten years ago and the one where we learned that Ariel was dying. Not a place I would like to return to but their care is top notch. For him to get the Iodine treatment. It's a radioactive treatment we wouldn't see Jasper for two weeks while they did it in June but it would fix the problem.

He didn't eat much on the weekend so we made a phone call to the vet and a phone call to a new closer vet who agreed to see him on Monday for dental work.

On Monday, they found a stage 2 or 3 heart murmur but were not able to get all the xrays because my son is kind of an asshole.

He was scheduled for surgery yesterday. Before surgery while he was sedated and not growling hissing and biting they did the scheduled test xrays.

They found a mass in his lungs. No surgery due to the risk if it is inflammation of the heart and lungs.

We have an appointment on the Seventh to above big vet hospital who will do the exam on the mass to determine if it's cancer in both thyroid and lungs. Like the one removed last year. If it is it's the end.

My heart hurts so much. I can't bring myself to hope that it isn't over.

My boy. My jasper.